


Light Refreshments

by epersonae



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: A joke that got sort of out of hand I guess, Early morning grocery shopping is a liminal space, F/M, Fantasy Costco, Fluff, Regular Costco?!?!?!, cute couple stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 19:12:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12514488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epersonae/pseuds/epersonae
Summary: In the back of every Fantasy Costco is a portal to the corresponding Costco in the Plane of Thought. Lucretia remembers a meeting. Magnus wants to use his vehicle proficiency. Also, muffins.





	Light Refreshments

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Free Samples](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12501080) by [anonymousAlchemist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymousAlchemist/pseuds/anonymousAlchemist). 



> Look, I dunno? It's just an early morning trip to Costco? Consider this in the same fictional universe as [Free Samples](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12501080); it was certainly inspired by the same chat.

Lucretia sat straight up in bed. "Shit!"

He rolled over, grumbling, and blinked at her.

"The food. For the meeting."

He frowned up at her.

"Don't you have someone for that?"

"They're on vacation. I need to go to Costco.”

“Need someone with vehicle proficiency to give you a ride?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“You know we just walk through the portal at the back of the Fantasy Costco.”

“I meant in the cart.”

She leaned over and kissed his nose.

“Someday, baby. Not today. Gotta keep my robes tidy. Remember, meeting?”

He fake-sulked.

“I can still come with, though?”

“Sure. I always enjoy your company. Don't get us kicked out again, though?”

“I swear that wasn't my fault.”

* * *

 

They walked in, and unlike the family trips on the weekend, it was dim and quiet, almost spooky.

"It's Tuesday morning," he said mournfully. "There's no samples."

She laughed. “You just came because you thought you'd get samples.” He looked down at his feet. She patted his arm. “I'll take you to the food court after, dear."

"Hell yeah!"

She paused and sighed.

“Wait, I don’t have time. I'll save you a muffin?"

“Okay, cool, cool. Chocolate chocolate chip, right?”

“Of course.” Those are her favorites too, muffins that are basically cakes, and about as big as her head. She'll cut them into quarters, still end up eating three of those.

* * *

 

Lucretia trailed a hand along the top of a pile of books, then stopped to flip idly through the hot new novel of three years ago.  
"Hon, don't you already have a to-read pile that's taller than you are?"

“Of course, but look at this, it'll be great.” She held out a legal thriller with a title in raised gold type: For Arguments Sake. “We can read it together. You loved the picture scroll of the last one.” She blinked coyly at him, and he chuckled.

“On the Bureau card, Luce?”

She sighed.

“Okay, fiiiiiine.”

She reluctantly set the book back on the table.

* * *

 

She slid a package of muffins wrapped in plastic off of the wire rack.

“Better get two,” said Magnus.

She arched an eyebrow. “Because….”

“One for the meeting, one for home.”

“I said I'd save you one.”

He tilted his head.

“Yeah but….”

She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek.

“You know we'll be back this weekend, probably?”

“Fine. Fine fine fine.”

He folded his arms over his chest. She smiled.

* * *

 

“Oh wait, I need to get a box of those little creamer things.” She swerved the cart around him and he jumped out of the way, trailing behind her. She got the cart going fast in the nearly empty warehouse, then hopped onto the bar between the back wheels. She let out a tiny “wheeeeee” that echoed around them. He laughed fondly.

“Reach up and get that for me?” He did, and she stepped back to admire him. Then she slipped up behind him, quiet as a mouse, and slapped his ass. He squeaked and jumped, but managed to keep the big box from falling.

“Lucretia!”

When he turned around, she kept her expression perfectly deadpan and clasped her hands behind her back.

“What?”

He dropped the box into the cart and picked her up by the waist. She kicked his knees, not hard, but he just laughed. He set her down and held her close.

“You _sure_ you have to go to this meeting?” he asked.

“Mm-hmm.” She leaned against him, breathing in the warmth of him. “I’m sure.”

 

He jogged up beside her, coming through the portal carrying the muffins, the creamer, a tray of fruit, and an enormous jar of hard candies “for your desk, that’s totally a business expense.”

“I can carry that on a Tenser’s Floating Disc,” she said.

“Sure, but you like watching me carry stuff,” he replied while she showed the receipt from the regular Costco to the cashier at the Fantasy Costco.

She tilted her head up at him. He hefted the entire stack above his head.

“Mmmmm, not wrong.” For half a second, she considered tickling his ribs. But she did actually need all that stuff to make it safely to her office. So she settled for reaching up and patting his bicep. He grinned at her. For another half a second, she considered canceling the meeting. But there were dignitaries coming from the surface. Alas.

* * *

 

“Ma’am?” The temp, a halfling with a nervous habit of cracking their knuckles, blinked rapidly as she and Magnus approached her office.

“Yes?” Unfortunately, she’d already forgotten the temp’s name, and it was probably too late to ask again. Or at least: she wasn’t going to ask again. Her regular assistant would be back next week.

“Why are you…?” They inclined their head towards Magnus, his arms full of their Costco haul.

She cocks an eyebrow.

“Food? For the meeting?”

“Ma’am?”

“Yes.” She was a bit annoyed now. Was it not obvious?

“Your assistant? Alex?”

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Even Magnus raised an eyebrow.

“They already…. The food’s already in there, ma’am. Plus coffee delivery?”

She took a deep breath.

“Oh. Well. Of course. These are…. Extra. Uh, snacks. For.” She looked at Magnus.

“Oh yeah, I’m just taking these to the Hammer and Tails for the new volunteers. Just had to drop off the ol’ hard candies.” He bent down; she took the torso-sized jar of candy and put it on her assistant’s desk.

“Oh, okay,” said the assistant. Something on the desk started blinking. “I think folks are starting to arrive, ma’am, do you want me to go meet them?”

“Yes please.” The halfling hustled out of the room.

“Thanks for the save, baby,” she said, kissing his cheek.

“Hey, I just scored fruit and muffins,” he said. “That’s a win-win.”

“Save some for me?”

“These are all for us. Tonight we’ll go wild. Muffins for dinner?”

“You’re going to do that awful thing where you put it in a bowl of milk until it disintegrates.”

“But Luce, it’s so goooooood. You should do it.”

She grimaced, but she was still smiling. She put a hand on his cheek.

“Nope, but I’ll watch you. Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

She stepped back out into the main hall to watch him leave and cut across the quad, greeting the visitors being led by her temp. She could see them respond to his friendliness, and she smiled, before smoothing her dress, straightening her shoulders, and stepping out to greet them herself.


End file.
